Changing My Mind About Having Children
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Child free
As most of you know, I do not have any children. What you might not know is that I've never really been inclined to take kids. For most of my adult life, information technology just wasn't something that I gave any thought to. Withal, as I've gotten older, I became more than and more against the idea of having children. Past the time I reached my early on thirties, I was doggedly in the child free camp. I fifty-fifty told people how much I disliked kids!
Changing My Heed
But then one solar day, something peculiar happened. I met my boyfriend's daughter, and I fell in love. She's an awesome trivial girl with a lot of personality and a lot of center. I also saw how amazing he was with her, and got a gustatory modality of what it would be like to be a mother. She even called me mommy! And I'grand not going to lie, I liked information technology. I liked information technology a lot. I started imagining what it would be like to have my ain family, and to heighten kids with this awesome dad. Information technology'south something that I couldn't end thinking about.
Examining My Feelings
I'grand not foolish though, having a kid isn't something I'd just rush into! Specially afterward having been determined about not wanting kids for so long. I definitely wanted to take some time to examine these new feelings before broaching the subject with my fellow. Practice I actually want my own child or could I exist happy having his daughter part time? What near being effectually her made me desire to have kids of my ain? Why have I been so opposed to the idea of children?
As well, I had simply started a new hormonal birth control, and then I wanted to brand certain that these new feelings weren't a weird hormonal thing. I've had weird bad reactions to birth command pills in the past, then this definitely wouldn't exist out of the realm of possibility. I thought most these questions at length (and had many girl talk sessions with my besties) to exist sure that my change of middle was real and for the correct reasons.
The Talk nigh having children
After a long examination of my feelings and waiting out changes in my hormones, I broached the topic with my boyfriend. He was shocked to say the to the lowest degree. I had always made it clear to him that I did not want children. However, after the initial shock wore off, he said that he was completely awed at the style I interacted with his daughter. He also thought that I would brand a wonderful female parent!
His merely stipulation is that we get married beginning, to give our future child(ren) a sense of stability. He hates that his daughter lives so far away, and that he doesn't get to see her very oft. He didn't want to have more children because he didn't want to put another child through that separation.
I totally sympathise his hesitation on that, and I concur that getting married prior to having children is definitely the way to go (I never said I wanted to have a kid right this second anyhow!). I am and then glad that I wasn't afraid to have this developed chat with him, and that we have an awesome plan for the futurity now.
Plan for the Future
My fellow and I do plan on getting married and having children in the future, but nothing is set up in stone. I of united states of america may alter our minds over again or it may plough out that ane of us is infertile. However, right now nosotros are both totally into the idea of having a family. So, in social club to celebrate that and to think about all the variables, I am dedicating the rest of this month to blog posts about having children. It'due south pretty apt also, since it's my 9th month blogging (I couldn't take planned it better if I tried!). This month I'll be discussing the possibility of non being able to have kids, how kids will change my FIRE goals, why I was so child gratuitous in the first place, and any other topics on having children that comes to mind. I promise you relish it!
Disclaimer
One of the nearly common complaints I hear from the child free community is that people don't respect their determination. People constantly belittle them by saying "oh, you will change your mind". Yes, I was child free and yes I changed my mind. However, the vast bulk of child free people do non change their minds, and I don't desire my one anecdotal experience to be used to scoff the life choices of others. And then please don't use my story to tell your kid free friends that they will alter their minds. They are not me, and they probably won't. Thanks!
Source: https://partnersinfire.com/lifestyle/changing-my-mind-about-having-children/
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